Walk with Jesus in the company of others
At TCC we desire that every member of our congregation find relationships in which they are encouraged in their walk with Jesus. One of the ways we can do this is by participating in a Triad. On this page you will find information about Triads, and easy to access resources to enhance your Triad meetings.
** As we launch this page and these resources, it is our prayer that these would be a helpful resource. In order to make these resources as helpful as possible, we would love to receive your feedback. Please email adam@tcchurch.ca with any questions, comments, or critiques regarding this page or these resources.
Learn more about Triads - What is a Triad?
At TCC we seek to walk with Jesus in the company of others. This experience of community is not to be an end in itself, but rather an essential vehicle of transformation. We are committed to helping everyone at TCC find a community which they feel they belong to. We believe this type of community will not be experienced without intentionality. Triads are one of the ways in which we can intentionally journey in community toward maturity in Christ.
A triad is a group of three individuals who commit to meet regularly in order to build relationships with one another, support and challenge one another to walk more purposefully with Jesus in order to become like him.
We may experience our salvation personally, but Jesus calls us to continue to work out our salvation in a community of faith. As we respond to this invitation of regular meetings, we move from experiencing gathering with believers as something optional to something essential in our spiritual formation.
What sets triads apart from other gatherings or groups is that the small size and consistent meetings allow for relational exchanges with a higher level of accountability and commitment. It creates a space for small groups to come together with a common goal, and to work together to see those goals realized. Learning from the Bible is also strengthened as the group approach multiplies the perspectives on Scripture and application to life.
I’m on board! How do I start a Triad?
1) We strongly recommend that you attend “TCC Basics” Class
These classes are a great place to learn more about our vision and purpose for community at TCC. Here you are equipped with a deeper understanding of our heart and vision for discipleship and hear various options to get involved in the life of the church. See the church calendar to find out when our next Essentials series starts. This is not required, but recommended. (The September 8, 15, and 29, 2024 sermons covered most of the TCC basics content.) We believe your Triad will be strengthened as members understand and share a common vision and how Triads fit into the overall discipleship heart of TCC.
2) Find people to join together with
When you’re considering who to join together with 2-3 others who also desire to grow and mature in their walk with Jesus and are willing to commit to the regular gatherings.
For a Triad to work, we believe the minimum commitment should be to meet 1 time a month. This, however, would be the minimum! A 3 week rotation would be more beneficial.
Consider: Age, stage, place- at least 2 of these need to be present
Age: others who are of a similar age or generation
Stage: working-professional, single, newly married, young kids, empty-nesters, retired, grandparent, etc.
Place: Consider your geographics. Be cautious of being in a group where regular meetings are hindered due to distance and consider the value of being in the same community. Also consider the types of commitments you have and seek to find people who share similar calendars.
We recognize that this part, getting started, can be the most difficult for some. So can we just acknowledge the elephant in the room? It can feel awkward sometimes- kind of like asking someone on a first date! But can we encourage you not to let the risk of “rejection” stop you from reaching out. The worst thing that can happen is someone says, “no”. This can happen for so many valid reasons like already being in an existing triad, not having space in their schedule to commit right now, and other barriers that are out of your control. But you’ll never know if you don’t ask.
While the church could find ways to place people together into groups, the odds are that having it manufactured this way will lead to less likelihood of natural chemistry and longevity of the group. So our vision is that these triads emerge out of existing relationships and come together organically. Think about who you’re connecting with at brunch, your friend circles, maybe a community group you’ve been in, or other church connection points like Women’s Refresh or Men’s Breakfasts.
If you’re finding yourself still struggling with this piece, please don’t hesitate to reach out and we’d be more than happy to come alongside you in the process!
3) Schedule the first meeting to sense group commitment and compatibility
Go over the Triad Covenant (link at the top of this page) with your group at the first meeting (Attach sample that can be downloaded and used if desired). Suggested meeting format can be found below.
4) Register your Triad (Form link at the top of this page)
By registering your Triad you will be creating opportunity for greater resourcing and accountability as a Triad. Note that the Church is not assigning or running these groups. But the TCC ministry team hopes to provide some support and direction to them with periodic check-ins. So please register your triad once your group has come to a committed start. The registration form access is located at the top of this page.
5) A bi-annual check-in to re-evaluate Having had several meetings, have an agreed upon date to collectively and openly assess how the group is going.
Consider questions like:
Are we finding that meeting once monthly gives us enough time? Do we want to consider meeting twice monthly if it works for everyone?
Are there questions we want to remove or add?
Is there something we could use additional support or resourcing for?
What are some of our successes and challenges as a group?
A 6 month check-in also allows for the option to discontinue your group if you feel it isn’t a good fit. Having an indeterminate duration can be intimidating for some people. After the first 6 months, if all members want to continue, an annual “recommitment” is suggested.
What should our time together look like?
Suggested Meeting Format
CONNECT: Take time to deepen in relationship with one another
Share a meal or coffee
Catch-up with one another
CHECK IN: This is a time to share vulnerably with one another about how you are doing. Consider commenting on:
Life with God (how are you engaging in spiritual practices)
Life at work
Family Life (and other key relationships)
Life in Church
Hobbies, recreation, pastimes and play
Missional engagement (how are you living out the great commission?)
If you’re having trouble coming up with questions, consider the questions for triads document at the top of this page
SUPPORT: Expanding on the check-in, identify how members of the triad may support one another through accountability, discernment, or encouragement.
PRAY TOGETHER: Bring one another before the Lord, praying about various aspects of the situations you have been sharing about.
Before you end, set a time for your next meeting
Fostering a healthy triad
There are many elements characteristic of healthy triads. Here are a few to consider as you meet with your group. Author Soo-Inn Tan describes these as disciplines and practices that are essential for the triad to be fruitful.
Purposeful: Remember, you are meeting to cultivate deeper spiritual connection with God and others. You will be tempted to spend time visiting without entering into the intended purpose of meeting. If your group loves to talk about family or local sports-teams, consider additional meets or having a timer set.
Loving: Safety and acceptance is established. Care is both given and received.
Supporting: Carry one another’s burdens. Empathize with and encourage one another. Share in celebrations and in sorrows.
Challenging: The link between caring and challenging is building one another up. The group helps to give accountability to put into practice what you know.
Listening: Everyone has space to be heard and to speak. To listen well is to validate, acknowledge, and appreciate another person with no personal agenda.
Sharing: High level of vulnerability and transparency. There is a high degree of honest sharing between the members.
Discerning: Prayerfully listening to the Holy Spirit on behalf of one another. Helping to discern God’s best for one another in the midst of challenging and/or major decisions. Wisdom is needed to know whether encouragement or accountability is needed as you journey together through difficult or sensitive situations.
Confidential: Confidentiality must be maintained. Assume that everything shared is to be kept in confidence unless explicit permission is given.
What a Triad is Not
Triads are not meant to replace professional counselling, social services, mentors, pastors or the like. A triad isn't a place for one person to come with all their problems and find solutions or rescue. It's meant to be equally shared time (using discernment when there are pressing needs of a member), for each to share and listen.
Some might feel discouraged or frustrated with their Triad because it is not addressing their felt need. While a Triad is an appropriate relational context to share joys and pains, and to receive prayer, they are not meant to meet every relational need someone is experiencing. It is important for each member to voice, “what I need from you right now” to their Triad and for the Triad to discuss in what ways the group may or may not respond to those needs. In many cases, a Triad may help an individual discern next steps for addressing particular issues and help them to find additional supports from a pastor, counsellor or mentor.
Ending Well
Triads end for a variety of reasons. Your schedules no longer align to meet, someone moves away, or you find that your time has simply run its course and it’s time to wrap up. Ideally this decision is arrived at mutually.
Celebrate together! Praise God for the relationships built, life transformation witnessed, and successes together. Get together to celebrate over one last meal and to pray for one another. If the next steps involve forming new triad relationships, pray for discernment as you seek out new members.
Inform the church that you’re ending your official meetings as a triad group so that they’re aware for logistical reasons as well as to celebrate with you and receive feedback about the process.
