Walk with Jesus in the company of others
At TCC, we desire to see every member of our congregation form relationships where they are encouraged in their walk with Jesus. One of the ways to experience this is by participating in a Triad. On this page you will find information about Triads as well as easy-to-access resources to enhance your Triad meetings.
** As we launch this page and these resources, it is our prayer that these would be helpful. In order to make these resources as valuable as possible, we would love to receive your feedback. Please email adam@tcchurch.ca with any questions, comments, or critiques regarding this page or these resources.
What is a Triad?
As we walk with Jesus in the company of others, the experience of community is not an end in itself. Rather, it is an essential vehicle of transformation. We are committed to helping everyone at TCC find a community in which they feel like they belong and we believe this type of community will not be experienced without intentionality. Triads are one of the ways in which we can, in community, intentionally journey toward maturity in Christ.
A triad is a group of three individuals who commit to meet regularly in order to build relationships, offer support, and challenge one another to walk more purposefully with Jesus in order to become more like him.
We may experience our salvation personally but Jesus calls us to continue to work out our salvation in a community of faith. As we respond to this invitation of regular meetings, we move from experiencing the gathering of believers as something that is optional to something that is essential for our spiritual formation.
Triads are set apart from other gatherings or groups because the small size and consistent meetings allow for relational exchanges that have a higher level of accountability and commitment. They create a space to come together with common goals and work together to see those goals realized. Bible learning is also strengthened as the group multiplies the perspectives on God’s Word and its application to life.
I’m on board! How do I start a Triad?
1) We strongly encourage you to attend the “TCC Basics” Class
TCC Basics offers an opportunity for us to share the heart of this community in such a way that we all understand and share a common vision and mission as well as understand how we believe we will walk it out together. Over 3 sessions, we walk through Discipleship (what we believe about the church and discipleship or apprenticeship to Jesus), Community (what we believe about community and how we invite you to become part of the community at TCC), and Contribution (what we believe about participating in this community in practical ways).
This both gives us a chance to get to know you a bit and you the opportunity to discover our heart, beliefs, and practices, ask questions, and begin forming connections with others from our church. Our hope and prayer is that, from here, we can launch new Community Groups or Triads and help you plug into this community in meaningful ways.
2) Find people to join together with
When you’re considering who to join with, seek 2 others who also desire to grow and mature in their walk with Jesus and are willing to commit to regular gatherings.
For a Triad to work, we believe the minimum commitment should be to meet 1 time per month. This, however, should be the minimum! A 3 week rotation would be more beneficial.
Consider: Age, stage, place (at least 2 of these should be present)
Age: others who are of a similar age or generation
Stage: working-professional, single, newly married, young kids, empty-nesters, retired, grandparent, etc.
Place: Consider your geographics. Be cautious of being in a group where regular meetings are hindered due to distance and consider the value of being in the same physical community. Also consider the types of commitments you have and seek to find people who share similar calendars.
We recognize that getting started can be the most difficult part for some. So, can we just acknowledge the elephant in the room? It can feel awkward; kind of like asking someone on a first date! But can we also encourage you not to let the risk of “rejection” stop you from reaching out? The worst thing that can happen is someone says, “no”. This can be for many valid reasons (like being in an existing triad, not having space in their schedule to commit right now, or other barriers that are out of your control). You’ll never know if you don’t ask!
While the church could find ways to place people together into groups, the odds are that this would lead to less natural chemistry and/or longevity of the group. So, our vision is that these triads emerge out of existing relationships and come together organically. Think about who you are connecting with at brunch, your friend circles, a community group you have been a part of, or other church connection points like Women’s Refresh or Men’s Breakfast.
If you are struggling with this piece, please don’t hesitate to reach out and we’d be more than happy to come alongside in the process!
3) Schedule the first meeting to sense group commitment and compatibility
Go over the Triad Covenant (link at the top of this page) with your group at the first meeting. A suggested meeting format can be found below.
4) Register your Triad
By registering your Triad (link at the top of this page), you will be creating opportunities for greater resourcing and accountability as a Triad. The church is not assigning or running these groups but the TCC ministry team hopes to provide some support and direction to them with periodic check-ins. So, please register your Triad once your group has come to a committed start.
5) A bi-annual check-in to re-evaluate
Set a date together so, after several meetings, you can collectively and openly assess how the group is going.
Consider questions like:
Are we finding that meeting once per month gives us enough time?
Do we want to consider meeting twice monthly if it works for everyone?
Are there questions we want to remove or add?
Is there something we could use additional support or resourcing for?
What are some of our successes and challenges as a group?
Consider setting a 6 month check-in as well. This allows for the option to discontinue your group if you feel it isn’t a good fit. Having an indefinite duration can be intimidating for some people. After the first 6 months, if all members want to continue, an annual “recommitment” is recommended.
What should our time together look like?
Suggested Meeting Format
CONNECT: Take time to deepen in relationship with one another
Share a meal or coffee
Catch up with one another
CHECK IN: This is a time to share vulnerably with one another about how you are doing. Consider commenting on:
Life with God (How are you engaging in spiritual practices?)
Life at work
Family life (and other key relationships)
Life at church
Hobbies, recreation, pastimes, and play
Missional engagement (How are you living out the Great Commission?)
If you are having trouble coming up with questions, consider the questions for triads document at the top of this page.
SUPPORT: Expanding on the check-in, identify how members of the triad may support one another through accountability, discernment, or encouragement.
PRAY TOGETHER: Bring one another before the Lord, praying about various aspects of the situations you have been sharing about.
Before you end, set and/or confirm a time for your next meeting.
Fostering a healthy triad
There are many elements present in healthy triads. Here are a few things to consider as you meet with your group. Author Soo-Inn Tan describes these as disciplines and practices that are essential for a triad to be fruitful.
Purposeful: Remember, you are meeting to cultivate deeper spiritual connection with God and others. You will be tempted to spend time visiting without entering into the intended purpose of meeting. If your group loves to talk about family, hobbies, or sports, consider additional meets or having a timer set to stay on track.
Loving: Safety and acceptance is established. Care is both given and received.
Supporting: Carry one another’s burdens. Empathize with and encourage one another. Share in both celebrations and sorrows.
Challenging: The link between caring and challenging is building one another up. The group helps to give accountability to put into practice what you know.
Listening: Everyone has space to be heard and to speak. To listen well is to validate, acknowledge, and appreciate another person with no personal agenda.
Sharing: High levels of vulnerability and transparency. There is a large degree of honest sharing between the members.
Discerning: Prayerfully listening to the Holy Spirit on one another’s behalf, helping to discern God’s best in the midst of challenging and/or major decisions. Wisdom is needed to know whether encouragement or accountability is needed as you journey together through difficult or sensitive situations.
Confidential: Confidentiality must be maintained. Assume that everything shared is to be kept in confidence unless explicit permission is given.
What a Triad is Not
Triads are not meant to replace professional counselling, social services, mentors, pastors, or the like. A Triad isn't a place for one person to come with all of their problems and find solutions or rescue. It is meant to be an equally shared time (using discernment when there are pressing needs of one member) for each person to share and listen.
Some might feel discouraged or frustrated with their Triad because it is not addressing their felt need. While a Triad is an appropriate relational context to share joys or pains and to receive prayer, it is not meant to meet every relational need that someone may be experiencing. It is important for each member to voice, “what I need from you right now” to their Triad and for the Triad to discuss in what ways the group may or may not respond to those needs. In many cases, a Triad may help an individual discern the next steps for addressing particular issues and help them find additional support from a pastor, counsellor, or mentor.
Ending Well
Triads end for a variety of reasons. Your schedules may no longer align to meet, someone moves away, or you find that your time has simply run its course and it feels like time to wrap up. Ideally, this decision is made mutually.
Celebrate together! Praise God for the relationships built, life transformation witnessed, and successes together. Get together to celebrate over one last meal and to pray for one another. If the next steps involve forming new Triad relationships, pray for discernment as you seek out new members.
Inform the church that you’re ending your official meetings as a Triad group so that they are aware for logistical reasons as well as to celebrate with you and receive feedback about the process.